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Joe's Cafe, 24/7 pit stop for ESL learners and teachers | February 2012
Egg's off, bacon's off, bread's off, tea's off. English is on though.

Better to have loved and lost?

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I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

(By Alfred Lord Tennyson 1809–1892)

What do YOU think? Is it better to have loved and lost? Or is it better never to have loved at all?

Wordchecker
to hold something true: to consider/believe something to be true
whate’er*: whatever
to befall* (verb): to happen
whate’er befall*: whatever happens
to sorrow* (verb): to feel deep distress; to be very unhappy/sad (”sorrow” is not normally used as a verb in English today)
’tis*: it is

*this language is typical of romantic poetry but is not normal in everyday English

Joe | Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 | Filed under Debate

62 Responses to “Better to have loved and lost?”

  1. amir says:

    hi everybody .
    in my idea live without love does not have mean,even if we know that we maY lost it ,i think we should test our chance.

  2. Wendy says:

    YES, it is better to have loved.
    Whether it be a mother, father, son, daughter, or significant other.
    When you love you become more then one, and you feel the greats joys. Being just one and feeling isolated can have awful effects on you and society.
    So, learn to LOVE.

  3. Suhaib says:

    I think that It’s better never to have loved at all,because If you loved then lost you will remember your loved every time without any profit ,then you will waste your time and keep sad.

  4. Pham says:

    It is definitely better to have loved despite of the fact that there may be some day you lost it. Believe me, there is nothing as terrible as living without loving some ones and being loved by some ones. you may have much money and have a luxury meal but I bet that you will feel much happier to have a normal meal with simple dishes with the person you love. have love and experience every level of emotion of being love even the sadness of losing it will robust your soul.

  5. pierre corso says:

    ever heard of “love makes the world go round.”?
    So,it’s certainly better to have loved and lost than to feel nothing at all in our life.
    Love doesn’t mean only happiness ,love can cause pain and suffering ,too. However, when you fall in love, the world is different .

  6. Mikiie says:

    I think that it’s better to have loved and lost.
    Love is beautiful even if sometimes it hurts, we cant’choose to not fall in love with someone, we only can choose the way we love him or her, how we love them

  7. Alejandro says:

    You all talking about love and be loved. But is anyone know exactly ‘What is Love?’.

  8. Ksusha says:

    Love brings out the best in people, it broadens your horizons and it makes you control your ego for the sake of another person, it makes you feel both vulnerable and protected. I’m really sorry for people who don’t know what it is - you can convince yourself that you’re better off alone, but I doubt so.

  9. Trainp says:

    Hi all,
    ofcourse we need to have love. Love will bring you many things. It will warm you up when you alone. and It will warm others up also. What do you think if we don’t have love? What will be happen when we live in a world without love?. Yeah, if we have no love, the world is very cold and that’s solitary life. I don’t like living alone. And everyones cannot live alone also. I believe that there are no one lives alone. Anyway, I hope the love will bring you health,happiness…

  10. Eveta says:

    I think if you never fall in love ,it will be better .
    Because if you taste these feelings once ,it’ll be very hard to forget it or forget its beauty.

    Never fall in love may be means a boring life but boring life is defenitely better than a painful life .

  11. fer says:

    it’s better to never loved
    :D

  12. Armstrong says:

    It’s better to love or you’ll get together with your lover for ever.

  13. Judy says:

    I don’t know exactly what love is but i think it’s great power and life without love would be meaningless

  14. Richard says:

    What do YOU think? Is it better to have loved and lost? Or is it better never to have loved at all?

    Well! this question is tough one, in my own opinion i choose to have loved and lost. Why? because if your in love you get excited to see her or him you think of the clock is never stop ticking and all of your attention is for her only. If you lost her or him that is the hardest part for you, you can’t stop thinking about her, asking your self that what i have done, did i do wrong, these is the question in my mind.Because of this experience i learned from it, the next time you got in love be sure that you love each other.

  15. rosenbeck says:

    The poet always focus on emotion points.so on side of the poet, he does not care for love or lost indeed, he just care about the emotional feeling.That’s, lost love would be the first than any other, which can be tasted by your hearts including cherish memery, childish manner,stupid swear, sweet story or unforgetable hurts in heart………

    whatever out of role of poet , who want lost? or lost in love? Amazing experience with love around and enjoy it!

  16. Masi says:

    It’s better to have loved but I will be really gutted if it lost!
    however I have my love(my husband):D

  17. ricky says:

    In my opinion, living without love can not be imagined. When we were born, all kinds of love embraced us which come from our parents, our teachers and other relatives. We learned how to love when we are growing.

  18. ppp says:

    it is said that the world is beacause of love so it doesn’t matter to love or not love is a feeling and we can feel it in any age of our life there are various forms of love it is not bonded in one relation it can be in form of mother, son, dauther , husband, wife, girlfriend, boy freind and so on so in my view there is no lose in love we always learn something from love in any way

  19. NISSAR AHMAD says:

    Love is live

  20. hosein says:

    hi
    the begin of love is sweet,but must of the times
    but,the ends of the love is virulent.in my opinion love is very good 4 every one and its very very v very sweet when u begin 2 love.
    thanx

  21. elahe says:

    if we could find true love,then we can love and live with each other happily ever after,althogh true love is rare…..

  22. kayra says:

    i think its better to luved by someone then followed by lost,atleast we would have some charish moment with our luv………

  23. sami hajrullahu says:

    I think everyday we should give love , it’s normally that every love has a piece’s bad … I wish u all the best in love with more lesslost …

  24. trainp says:

    Dear sami,
    I agree with you “everyday we should give love”.
    But, does anyone know the meaning of love?
    and what kind of love are you mentioning to?

  25. Yo says:

    Of course we need to have loved , however living will be meaningless without love, can you imagine to live without love, how the woRld would be? Loving someone doesn’t mean that we have to be forever, and I think love and lost is normal in real life, because God send us the wrong person before we meet the right one, and each experience teach us so many things in life. Everyone need love and need to be loved and loving someone, without it I think people are senseless… have no feeling to others, how can???

  26. Lizbeth says:

    Mr. Josef, I dont have comment about it :)

  27. hannia says:

    I think it better to have a love because this experience give the oportunity to learn about the love and the love is part of the live and the people have to live with these feeling along the live if sometimes you lost love, it is important remember the things that seeem happy in the convivence with the people you love ( brothes, mother, father, sons, husband).

  28. Andrés says:

    I don’t think it’s refering to relative’s kind of love. Considering this, I have been in both situations. Befofore I fall in love for the very first time and then lost, I’ve never loved before. Which is better? “Whether tis nobler in the mind?”. Difficult to say, but any way, what it has to happend, it did… so is the life, enjoy what bring you whilst you’re alive.

  29. Maina says:

    In my opinion the life without love doesn”t have any sense.You will not live fully, you will just exist. Love can be different. It can be love for your baby, for your parents, for your close friends and for your soulmate.You will feel so warm and nice to care about people whom you love.And the life will have sence.

  30. Гребинщикова Дарья says:

    I think it is better to have loved and lost love than not love at all! Love - the meaning of life when a man loves no matter sex or opposite of their parents, friends, and most importantly love the whole shower, give my love to someone, to please other people. This will be smsyl life and make you happy. When you love a person, then he wants to do something nice and this lightens the soul. It is very important in life to find love and I wish to be everything in this life of a loved one to someone

  31. shah says:

    i vote for to have love thou it just for short moment.love make us feel alive.accepting the lost is a must.no one will live forever.either we like it or not,that is what we have deal in life…

  32. anou says:

    I think everybody must have love during his/her life. It doesn’t matter whether it ‘ll be accompanied by lost or not. Mistakes are given to take lessons from them. Everything seems beautiful, colourful during love and u never imagine that some day u’ll lost your love. But in some cases it is unavoidable like the sun after the rain.So we should be ready both for sun and rain.:)

  33. A.E says:

    Hi everyone
    I think everyone love something in his life but he don`t know

  34. Dinu says:

    I think love is a beautiful dream. If we can choose correct person at once we never lost our love. Sometimes it waste our time, give tears. However we need it & without love we can’t enjoy this life.

  35. Cisca says:

    Yes, indeed, its good to have loved and lost, but its better to have love and continue to have love for the rest of our life, regardless whatever circumstances within us.
    I know its hard to keep loving when someone already hurt ourselves but by doing this we will continue having love without lost.
    its also considered as forgive and forget.
    There is a verse in the Bible that says we have to pray for our enemy.
    its a bit irrational for human thinking we only can achieve this behavior by raise our spiritual mind.

    Sorry I am a bit out off topic, but the point is its best to have love, love and love without feeling any lost

  36. Maggie says:

    In my thinking, people grow when they experience. If one never has any life experience, it is similar to that he/she never lives. Thus, though losing love is painful, we, as human beings, should not scare of loss but embrace it as a part of life if we want to live a meaningful life and hate an indifferent life. However, we will not always lose or get hurt. This time, one may lose a lover, but the next time, this person will find a different lover and might love as the first time. God never puts any one to a dead end. If one can stand the suffering, God will bring the bright day to him/her, and the person will see that if he/she did not experience the rainy day, he/she would never appreciate the bright day and feel as happy as the present moment of finding happiness again. In the end, living is opening to chances. I will experience all the colors of life no matter what these colors are, black or red. I would rather to be a onehundred thousand mile torn car than a car in a showroom which get rusted by dust of time.So, always love, love, and love again no matter what happened and will happen.

  37. Zee says:

    i think love is the most beautiful thing in the world and in the life, it’s such a waste if we never loved when we just live once in this world

  38. Arsene reebok says:

    hello y’all!
    they say that the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, therefore to know what love means is one of the most important step in human’s life!

  39. hana says:

    hi every body,
    i think it’s better to have loved even if you have lost your love at least you will have an experience and you would have feel enjoy and pleasure for a moments.

  40. miki says:

    i think everybody must have love in life,if you don’t have loved your life very boring.

  41. diren arduçluoğlu says:

    ı very good ım turkish because english speaking bad ıd love to

  42. safe says:

    For those who have loved and lost, they would say if only they have never loved.
    for those who have never loved before they would say if only they have given it a try.
    for me, I want just to say that mistakes are our best feedbacks. So, don’t be afraid to love even if it happens for you to lose your love you will surely get enough experience to lay on in the future.
    I hope my explaination was clear.
    thank you

  43. digamber says:

    clearly its much better to be loved and lost rather than not being loved.
    Life has two faces a good one and a bad one if you consider love to be good one than lost is the second one.
    And life without love is not a life worthwhile .

  44. Diamond says:

    If I loved somebody I love. If I do not love somebody I do not. I can not decide for this. My heart can decide. Love is very precious issue for me. Even if I know I could lost I would listen my heart.

  45. real says:

    the word,”LOVE” is a beginning of every thing.love is a kind of empathy of deeper emotion which no one can be able to sink to the bottom of its territory. being fall in love is normal to any one and as well the same to lose. in my opinion ,to be loved and lost is a part of life.one time you love or loved and another time you would lose the feeling of love.

  46. Alice says:

    Part of me that is human, agrees with it and part of me that is apathetic, doesn’t. I have loved and I have lost and yet I hope I’ll find someone to love again. I can say the part of me that is human prevails.

  47. Fatematojjohora Smrity says:

    Hello, everybody I think love is a holy feeling which can change a person’s life.A real lover can love his beloved in dream or imagination even without physical existence.

  48. rusiko says:

    I fully agree to 42 safe, but I want to add, It’s better to have loved and not lost !!!

  49. Trinh Xuan Tuan Anh says:

    I think, love is one of the greatest things in life. Love will may make us stronger, more happy, more active and believing in the true busy life, but love cause so manythings that’s worst. It’s worth trying the best and the worst in life, isn’t it?

  50. julissa says:

    I believe that we can love no matter what we are going to lose …. love is part of living

  51. Chuz says:

    Maybe its better do not have any love, because you can to focus in do others projects

  52. mike says:

    Love is one feeling that has to be experienced by every single human being during lifetime.

  53. ambady says:

    Love is the most beautiful feeling in this world. It makes see the world in a different angle.
    Its too hard to love sum1 so deeply and at last knowing that, that one never loved us back..
    So Yeah… its better to have loved and lost.

  54. Butterfly says:

    I prefer to never be loved, than be loved and lose it, because love is something you can’t explain, and the feeling is undescribble.. It is that special so I can’t imagine having all of that and then one day it just disappeared!!

  55. be says:

    love is everyting because when you fall in love with someone else you get happy and everyting seems okey you just thing your love friend you love him or her no matter what so don’t be afraid of loving someone just live with good history

  56. Aman says:

    Hi everybuddy

    I don’t know, What is love.

    If you love everyone. Everybuddy loves you.

    I LOVE YOU Friends….

  57. Chanes says:

    Love is the same with life you need to have courage and take a risk because you will never finds out if you will be happy or not unless you start looking and working for it.

    Aside from, that loving will give you hope, faith, wisdom and strength… Hope that something good will happen after experiencing happiness and sorrow at the same time. Faith that everything will be alright as long as your someone stays with you no matter what. Wisdom gained after experiencing different emotions when loving someone that will mold you to be a better person, and strength that every time you get tired you will definitely regain strength because even though you failed for the first, second or third time… at the end of the day someone will come who will be with you forever no matter what…. So, I rather loved someone and be hurt than not loving at all… Because loving is a part of life, no man can say that he is content and whole if he didn’t experience how to love and be loved.

  58. D and K,75 school says:

    I think it is better to love,then to be lost .
    I think it is better have love because when we are in love, we are happy.
    unfortunately,very really it is hard to have truth love
    We become better and it is very good.
    to sum up love-its something interesting

  59. Honey says:

    In my point of view ,If you wanna be loved by someone ,there must be hurt in some ways.So ,If you don’t wanna be hurt at the end, it is better than not to be loved or love others seriously.My suggestion is to love everybody in the same way it’s better than hot relationships between two different sexes.

  60. Gilberto says:

    I think it is better to have loved even though you lost, because it implies that you did took the risk, things may have gone wrong but they could have been one of the best choices of your life.

    Therefore it is always important trying, rather than letting go the chance without doing nothing, if we had to know the result of our decisions before acting, we wouldn’t achieve anything.

  61. preeti says:

    love has no selfishness. love is to compromise and not expect anyyhing in return. it just a feeling of happiness

  62. preeti says:

    love is a diasease that can not be cure

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