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Joe's Cafe, 24/7 pit stop for ESL learners and teachers | January 2008
Egg's off, bacon's off, bread's off, tea's off. English is on though.
JokeWe all like to laugh at some time. And we all enjoy a good joke. Tell us a joke that makes you laugh. Joe | Monday, January 7th, 2008 | Filed under Writing
43 Responses to “Joke”Leave a Comment |  Personal blog of Josef Essberger, English Club founder
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12th January 2008 at 6:57 pm
One soldier was running to escape from the enemy. There was no place around to hide and jumped in an well. Ater few minutes the enemy came near the well and start asking himself:
‘May be the soldier is hidding in the well or in the near forest’.
Suddenly an echo was heard from the well:
‘In the forest, in the forest, in the forest…’.
16th January 2008 at 5:08 am
ok…Fantastic…Very nice…..
22nd January 2008 at 6:12 am
There was a couple who live in a suburban area. One night after the dinner, the husband stepped out into the backyard to have a bit of fresh air, suddenly he heard a sound “that must be an owl’s singing” so he started to whisper to the owl, the owl also whispered back to him. From then, every night after the dinner he enjoys doing that.
One day, his wife told a neighbour’s wife about her husband’s new hobby by whispering to an owl every night, the neighbour’s wife was very surprised and said “that was what my husband has been doing every night after the dinner lately”. The two husbands were just whispering to each other and there wasn’t an owl at all.
13th February 2008 at 7:17 am
once there was a party at the begining of the food table there was a huge pile of apples with a note “take one apple, no more, God is watching you”; at the end of the same table there was a huge pile of cookies with a note “eat as much as you like, God is busy watching the apples”
13th February 2008 at 4:37 pm
Nassreddin is a famous and inteligent man in Turkey. he liwed before years years ago.
one day he escaped from his enemy. and he hidden in a sack.. a few minutes later the enmy was came beside to the sack. teh enemy kick the sack and a voıce…potato…potato
bye
14th February 2008 at 1:39 pm
wonder ful , thank you
17th February 2008 at 5:44 am
“If you do not marry me, I’ll die.” he said.
But he was refused.
Sixty years later, he died…
21st February 2008 at 3:48 am
dont marry a person who you love
marry a person who love you
but whatever you do
you will regret it later
….??????…..
9th March 2008 at 1:36 am
a man was once burried in remote place that nobody else was ever laid to rest, how ever one day, another body was laid next to him, so he started to scrumble, to make contact with his frist neighbor, and asked these questions
1-what did they call you sir?
2- how were the things back there?
3- did they finally get a cure for Aids?
4- did the people trust one onother yet?
and many more, untill the new corpse got irritated and said shut up idiot,
9th August 2008 at 7:52 am
wonderful
5th November 2008 at 4:36 am
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”
26th November 2008 at 2:12 pm
If I had to give you something as a gift, I would give you a mirror, because after you, the most beautiful thing is your reflection
29th November 2008 at 6:23 pm
Two persons converse with each other.
First one: How that you got so much property?
Other one: From my fore-fathers.
First one: My bad luck, I have only one father. You are lucky to have four fathers.
4th December 2008 at 1:32 am
One man who was the manager of a prison has a pain in his eyes, he could not look as casual as others can. One day he met 3 prisoners and investigated them. Firstly, he looked at the first one and said: ” Who is Ali”. But the second man answered scarely: “Not me, sir”. The manager of prison shouted angrily” I don’t ask you” ” But, sir” said the third man” I say nothing at all”
6th December 2008 at 5:20 am
some jokes are funny
some are not but
its nice though
10th December 2008 at 3:48 pm
Pharmacist: What kind of vitamin that your son needs?
Mr. Perfect: Any kinds. It doesn’t matter because my son
is not able to read yet. He’s still 3 years old.
15th December 2008 at 9:16 am
-Excuse me . Do you see any policeman around here?
-No,I don’t.
-Is there any police station near here ?
-Yes ,there is , but it takes you 20 minutes to get there by motorbike. What is up ?
-Then don’t move ,take money out of your pocket, put your watch,ring,neckleck off right now.
22nd December 2008 at 11:54 am
A pretty girl went to church , to make a confesion to a priest,and the man asked her what is the matter. She then said my boyfriend did something bad to me. The pastor now kissed her and said did he do this to u she said no, he hugged her and said did he do this to u she said no, he now pulled off her cloth and said did he do this to u, she said no,he now made love to her and said did he do this to u? She said no, then he now said what is the thing he did that is making u to be crying, then the girl said he gave me aids, the pastor,then fainted….
11th January 2009 at 12:40 pm
One day i was running and i fell over…hahaha what a joke.
11th January 2009 at 12:52 pm
One day i was playing with my friend and i was running and my friend give me a punch and i throw my shoe on my friends face..HAHAHAHAHA what a lovely joke..
20th January 2009 at 11:33 am
a man asked for ameal in a restaurant.the waiter brought the and put it on the table. after a moment,the man called the waiter and said:”waiter!waiter!ther’s a fly in my soup”.the waiter said:”please don’t speak so loudlly or everyone will want one”.
25th February 2009 at 8:48 am
um…um…
What word is always spelled incorrectly?
- Incorrectly.
What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
-You look sharp!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
-Because 7 8(ate) 9
What bus crossed the ocean?
-Christopher ColumBUS.!!
Thanks~
1st March 2009 at 2:23 pm
one day a man went to a restaurant . He ordered asoup.then he called the waiter:
- i want you to taste the soup.
- is there any thing wrong with it, sir?
- just taste it?
- why do you want me to do that? if there is any thing wrong just tell me.
- i want you to taste the soup or i’ll….
-ok ok i’ll taste it…. but where is the spoon?
-see. that is why……!!!!
what do you think?
30th March 2009 at 7:56 pm
One foreign guy ask another one, how do you clean you beard everyday? That guy answer, I use ” Soap”.
The asker ask again, egg soup or chicken soup?
31st March 2009 at 8:49 am
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough stirrup.
What is a horse’s favorite sport?
stable tennis.
What do you give a sick pig?
oinkment.
what did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What a cow’s favorite drink?
Lemooooonade.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
Ha 55555555555
Good Bye
Have a nice smile
Linda k (hollywood)
1st April 2009 at 4:45 am
Money become first.
Love followed when you got money.
Sex’s later if you rich.
Is not a Joke and make you smile.
Bye-Bye
Linda k
8th April 2009 at 5:27 pm
one moring i was on the subway to school with my friend,we sit at the end of the train, it’s was very quiet, beacause everybody were doing there own business,sudently i heard a very weird sound: boop boop boop SIzzzzzzzz… ( can you imagine what’s mean) it came from my friend.And everyone trun to look at us, of coz my friend didn’t know what’s going on beacuase he was listening to music by his ipot, oh my god this is so ashmed,( he farted), on the way to class i couldn’t stop laughing, and when i told him whatwas happend, he srated to explain , that was he though they opened the music on the train, so he just waited when the the musical play the bass part, and it was so lound enough for him to do it,coz there wont be anyone can hear that sound comes from him, but unfortunatly it’s only him who listening to his own music . and hahahah hihihihi.from that day i name for that thing is IPOT FARTING
15th April 2009 at 12:50 am
To day I have a funny joke to make you laugh
This joke may be hazardous to your bad mood.
Read with caution.
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one that drank Canada Dry!
What do fashion fab frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
The elephant’s shadow.
How does an elephant get out of a small car?
The same way he got in.
Why would you take a bear to the zoo?
Because he’d rather go to the movies.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Coka Koala!
What is the favorite meal?
Baked being!
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event!
Lions eat people on what day?
Chewsday!
What do tiger sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells,jungle bells.
Why do cheetahs eat raw meat?
Because they can’t cook!
What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
Chocolate chimp!
What do you call a naughty monkey?
A badboon!
What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom!
What did the female cat say to the male cat?
You’re the purrfect cat for me!
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrrple.
Hope my funny joke can make you smile or make you frustrate! Hu..La…La…Ha…..5555555
Best Wish everyone!
Linda K (Hollywood)
21st April 2009 at 11:55 pm
how to put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
-open , put it in , and close the door.
how to put an lion in the fridge in 4 steps?
-open, take the elephant out, put the lion in, and close the door
21st April 2009 at 11:57 pm
A airplane was falling down, and there was an announcement sayin ‘if something heavy fall off from the aeroplane, we all can live.’
what fell off from the aeroplane?
-lion in fridge
21st April 2009 at 11:57 pm
there was an party for animals.
What didn’t come to the party?
-lion
21st April 2009 at 11:58 pm
there was a lot of fish in the water, but suddenly they disappeared. Why?
-A lion in the fridge was fallen off and dive to the water.
23rd May 2009 at 2:17 pm
Your jokes are awesome but too long!
25th May 2009 at 7:52 pm
A little Devil came and asked me…. i want to trouble some good people. i suggested your name. it slapped me and told we dont play with our boss….
25th May 2009 at 7:57 pm
The boy prayed: oh god give me 1 bag full of money a job, 1 big vehile and many girls. god said: ur wish is ful filled.
The boy become a conductor in ladies bus….
Did u undarstand???
16th July 2009 at 9:30 pm
in kosova….one boy met a famous person and ask him why you are famous he say: i didnt go to school…..it’s hard to understand
16th July 2009 at 9:32 pm
why the bjondine dont do the home work………????? cos she live in the flat
22nd July 2009 at 2:02 pm
Hyna told his frind that,there is nothing that can make him cry.Two days after, they went to the morning place because his mother’s friend definitely died. On their way, he eat a scorpion and the scorpion stung his month then , he stated to cry, who is the creator of this animal,he said.it is god replied his frind.Is there any femal sex that can give birth to this animal? he asked again.Finally, he said I am crying because of your mother not because of the scorpion sting… do you undestand this joke?
10th September 2009 at 9:22 am
A biology teacher is disturbed by some of his class students who are making noice during lessons and don’t listen to the teacher. and while they are asked for answering a questions, they stay calm and can’t answer. one day the teacher came and told to his students that next day if any of you don’t answer my questions, he has to pay 10-Afs penalty to me…. so the class continues and the teacher collects money from the students. one day a student asked the teacher that while we don’t answer your questions, the we pay you 10-Afs but when you don’t answer our questions then? the teacher bravely replied, I will pay you 1000-Afs. then another day when the teacher got his 2000-Afs salary and entered to the class, the same student immediately asked the teacher, Sir: I have a question for you… the teacher said, yes, what is question. student said: where are those camels found that are in the size of cat? the teacher is thinking, thinking… and thinking… but could’nt answer. so the student asked for the 1000-Afs (Penalty money). So the teacher very sadly took out 1000-Afs from his pocket and gave it to the student. then immediately the teacher asked the student that now you tell me “where are those camels found that are in the size of cat”… so the student just answered him that sorry sir I don’t know and this is 10-Afs for my penalty.
Thanks,
rawoofscuk_admn@yahoo.com
8th October 2009 at 10:13 pm
I want to learn english . I came united state miami 2 years ago
19th November 2009 at 2:56 am
vella: ijaw…. do you know why does Superman always wear costume with ‘S’ as his symbol??
ijaw: (thinking hard and harder)ummmm….
because Superman start with S….
vella:no it’s wrong,,try your best…
ijaw:may be S for “Sexy”..
vella:no,,,, because if he use XL, it’s will be too large for him….
ijaw:ough!
19th November 2009 at 3:06 am
indri ask phoe: do you know why the little pig walk with the head bow?
phoe: mmmm,,,maybe because the head is too heavy for him
indri: ohh,,,of course it is not the reason.
phoe: ok,i am not a pig so that i don’t know about the reason
indri: but don’t you want to try to answer?
phoe:ok,i think it because he want to looks the street
indri:no, the reason is he felt shame because his mother is a PIG
phoe:#@*$#^%$#^&
21st November 2009 at 2:20 am
today,, I feel more confident study at nursing program in University of Riau (UR),
I am so happy, because I can learn so many thing about health, how to promote our health, how to prevent and other thing….
beside that, in PSIK I also have best friends and best lecture,,,
they always give me motivation to do the best….
What about you??
do happy with your conditions today????